October 12, 2006- The Next Move

   The last few days, that little shitstain that runs North Korea, Kim Jong-Il has thrust his sorry ass right into the main spotlight of the world stage with his testing of a nuclear device last week. Here in America, we are hearing and learning more about the little fuck than we ever  have before, showing just how serious Washington is taking these actions. Everyone knew that he had these weapons and that it was just a matter of time before he set one off and showed everyone that he did, but the reaction to it has been far stronger than expected, basically because oif the reasons that he set the bomb off now, which I went into in my last column, basically which is that Kim Jong-Il is all pissed off at China for abandoning  him and just stringing him along all these years. So he has gone and defied everyone with this test, playing the madman that so may think that he is. Now, the question becomes exactly what needs to be done about this, because clearly, Kim Jong-Il can no longer be left alone because he is serious now and does not care what he has to do because he feels that he has nothing to lose, and he doesn't actually. For years, China strung him along and made him feel that he had an ally in them, but now he knows that he is on his own and that he is essentially a trapped animal, and is starting to react like one. These last few days have been full of bellicose statements from him, talking about how he is ready for war with whoever wants one with him and how he is not afraid of anyone, especially the USA. So Washington now has top deal with this littlle shit whether they want to or not, because he is going to impose himself on them anyway, and now they have to get right down to brass tacks with the asshole, and President Bush has already laid out a few possibilities. he has said that there is not going to be any American military action against him, and anything that he says otherwise is just a bunch of speedfreak paranoia, but that they have serious ideas in mind as well. These ideas include shit like economic sanctions against North Korea, and the freezing of their assets in Western banks, and maybe even a partial naval blockade of North Korea, where every ship that went either in or out of there would be searched and have to pass muster before it would be able to go any farther. Other than that, Washington has not said anything else, like dropping any bombs  on him or any shit like that, they want to get the scum back to the bargaining table and try to hash this all out peaceably. Predictably, the pundits are weighing in on this, because that is what pundits do, and they are all debating the effectiveness of all of this. Many feel that it all is just going to be more meaningless bullshit that Kim Jong-Il will promptly ignore. because it is not anything that he has not heard a variant of before and he never did shit then and nothing happened, so why should it matter to his wasted ass now, and others feel that this sort of thing could be the final straw so to speak, the event that finally sets that cocksucker off past the point of no return and makes him finally start to destroy the world like he has threatened to for so long. As always, no one really knows quite what that sad sack is thinking, because he  is so secretive and always holds his cards close to his chest and is also always so fucking high that you never know what the fuck is going to come out of him. In the past, that never mattered much, as there were always more important things in the world, but  now it is very important and how this is handled will have ramifications long past 2006.

   As we all know, temper tantrums like this from Kim Jong-Il have been a regular thing ever since he took over after his asshole old man died. Time and time again, he has said that he is about to do this and that, and everyone had better pay attention to him or else. Many feel that he does this simply because he is so high that he is freaking out and such, but in reality, there has always been another reason for it, and believe it or not, that reason is diplomacy. Being so isolated does not do North Korea that much good when it comes to negotiations because they have zero leverage to use. The only leverage that they have is th atomic bombs  and shit, and promises to use them, and Kim Jong-Il has known that ever since he took over there. Every time he goes off like a crazy man and says that heis about to blow one off, other countries start to pay attention to him and try to get negotiations re-started. In the past, he never actually had to do it, because since he thought that he had China on his side, he felt that he had a big ally that would intercede for him and help him so that he would not have to actually start blowing off bombs. Now that he has realized that China does not care for him either and wants him deposed as much as anyone, he may have felt that he actually had to blow one off this time and show everyone that he is serious about this shit. The man does not want to be deposed, he has a post political career all picked out for himself in the heroin business, and even though no one wants him to make that dream a reality, the dude knows that there is a middle ground somewhere , that he can get some kind of deal worked out so that he does not have to be deposed and arrested and tried and shit, and he wants to leave that option open. He can't anymore if he just sits back and lets China act like his friend because they are nothing of the sort and never have actually done anything meaningful for him and have no plans to change that, so he may have felt that he had to act, and acting to him means blowing off nuclear bombs. So he may ignore anything that is said or done to him once again because that is the sole strategy that he has had success with to begin with and is trying to use it once again. his society is so fucked up that economic sanctions mean zero to them, if there is an embargo on luxury goods going to North Korea, as many are suggesting, that would just affect Kim Jong-Il himself  and a handful of others, and besides that, they would all have black market methods of getting that shit anyway. It is hard to put economic sanctions on a country where starvationis endemic and the people are dying wholesale, because all that you will do is worsen that situation, and that gives Kim Jong-Il the chance to tell his people that America is making their lives even more miserable than before, and since the dude is a master of propaganda, he will do a bang-up job of it and make his people hate America instead of him and skate away scot free once again. He cares not whether his people starve , to him, they are mostly nuisances anyway, moochs that take away valuable resources that he could use to get even more speed and  smack and booze for himself  and party even harder, so if they die, that means more party supplies for him. Since he is so isolated, it is impossible to get to him as well, and sanctions would just mean that more innocents would die and his party would roll right along unscathed.

   There is another problem with the sanctions that Washington has suggested, and that would be that naval blockade shit. Under that deal, every ship that comes in or out of North Korea would be stopped and searched, the rationale behinnd it being that America was trying to stop Kim Jong-Il from selling any of his nuclear shit to make money during economic sanctions and further the spread of nuclear shit around the world. There is just one problem with that though, and that's the idea that Kim Jong-Il wuld ever sell and nuclear shit to anyone. it seems highly unlikely that he would ever sell that shit to anyone for one reason, and that's because the customer could come back one day and use that nuclear shit against him, and he wants no part of even risking that. He is no Khan, that Pakistani scientist that sold him the nuclear shit without a care, because he knows that so many people want him gone and there's just no way that he will help them by selling them any nuclear shit at all. Besides that, he has something better to sell you, and that is drugs, specifically speed and heroin. He sells both those things by the boatload, the speed no one quite knows where he gets it, many think China, but the heroin he makes himself from beginning to end,and that shit is how he makes his money despite being so isolated and having sanctions against him. So if America sends the Navy to North Korea land and tells them to search the ships, it is not atomic weaponry that they'll find, but speed and heroin, lots of both. That would make Kim Jong-Il freak real bad, because the world does not really know the extent of his drug dealing, they can only surmise and suppose, and if they stop the ships around there, they'll see exactly how much he does, and that will not fly well with anyone. no drug dealer wants the Pigs or authorities of any kind to know exactly how much shit he sells, and Kim-Jong-Il is no different. He knows that if everyone found out just how much he is dealing, that it woulld be th eexcuse to move in and take him out, after all, it was the excuse that America used in Panama to take Manuel Noriega out in 1989, and Kim Jong-Il does not want to end up in an American prison like old pineapple face did and will do what he feels he has to in order to make that not happen. That is where the trapped animal shit comes into play and where he might very much react like one. If he knew that he was about to go down because he  was now known to be a major drug dealer, then he probably would not hesitate to get out the rest  of his atomic arsenal and let it fly. He would rather turn the Korean peninsula into a nuclear wasteland than go to prison for drugs, and a naval blockade would surely make it known just what a dealer he actually is. That is the only thing that could really set him off and make him make good on all of his apocalyptic threats. that dues loves the endless party that is his life, and if you threaten to end that party, he will act like any good alcoholic or drug addict would, protect his supply undr any cost, and considering just what a major place this particulat alcoholic and drug addict has in the world today, his tantrums could be catastrophic. So Washington has to factor this into the response that the entire world is waiting for on this issue, and make sure that they make the proper response, because this time, the stakes are far higher than ever before with this guy and there has to be some way figured out about how to deal with him now without any further damage being done to the world or society than what the asshole has alrady done in his career. That is the diplomatic dance that America has to play now, and every  step is crucial.

   So what is Washington to do now that Kim Jong-Il has acted up like his? The best course of action will not be sanctions or blockades, but simply leaving Kim Jong-Il alone. Even though the man is armed with atomic bombs and a serious drug habit. he is isolated as hell, and just lost his last friend in China.  His country is falling apart at the seams at such a rapid rate that it will soon become impossible for him to sustain anything, and that's why he wants  out of the political game to begin with. He knows that if he stays where he is, that North korea will collapse and take him with it, and that does not fit into his grand plan very well. So that means that even though he has no friends left, that he can still cut a deal of some sort for himself before it is too late. However, it is now the West that has time on its side concerning North Korea,  because that rock and roll lifestyle that Kim Jong-Il leads is sure to catch up with him soon, after all, he is 64 and parties like Lemmy, so sooner or later, he is  bound to go on that one way trip that he has been flirting with for so long and end up dead. The only secession plan that he has involves his son Kim Jong Nam, and that dude is maybe even more fucked up on liquor and drugs than his old man, so keeping him from stepping into the driver's seat in North Korea should not be that hard if rapid action is taken. the son has no real authority over the military, and he also has not been made into a sort of divine figure through propaganda like the old man has, so he is not anywhere near as beloved as the old man or grandpa is, so there would just have to be some sort of glitch or pause in the process, and if Western troops then came in and got the son, the army might not do much, as there would not be a clear leader there to tell them what to do, and like any good military, North Korea's runs on the principles of doimng as they are told, and if there is no one there to tell them, they won't  do much of anything, and that would make it easy for a regime change there. So the best thing for Washington and the West to do is what they have done ever since that country started and play that diplomatic fan dance game some more. If they just let things stay as ususal, Kim Jong-Il will eventually go back to partying full time and forget  about blowing off atomic bombs and get more concerned about blowing off his little bitty dick into some sleazy whore's cunt. This just cannot go on fo rmuch longer, and the people of North Korea are a hardy lot, they have had to be, and they seem to be able to have the ability to hold on a bit longer yet  until Kim Jong-Il finally croaks off. yes, there is an element of risk involved here, but there seems to be no other clean way to get rid of that fucker, if there was, his old man would have been deposed long before he would have taken over and everything would be cool right now. However, the risk here seems to be much less than taking the risk of getting him all upset because he thinks that he is about to be busted by the narcs, because in that case, he would go and do something right away, and that would be a catastrophe. If he just takes too much speed one day and has a heart attack and drops dead before the doctors caneven look at him, it is them too late for anything to be done, and that window of opportunity opens  right up. That's why Washington should not make the dude give up speed or anything, they should get him to do way more than he already does, and do whatever they can do to try and get him started on that high quality heroin that he sells, because it is far easier to overdose and die on that shit than it is on speed, and expediting an overdose death of Kim Jong-Il does the entire world good. So Washington might be better off trying to find agents to get Kim Jong-Il started  on heroin in a big way rather than using sanctions that would only hurt those already suffering immensely under his regime or using naval tactics that could make him rush to the triggers of the atomic bombs right away. America has many more options open here htan they may realize, and if they look at it hard enough, they might find out that just  keeping the status quo with Kim Jong-Il might work out the best in the end.

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